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My first fic in like 24 years.

Title: The drawing.
Author: SeeMe traitorousrat
Pairings: One sided Ulquiorra/Orihime, One sided Tatsuki/Orihime
Rating: G
Warnings: Mentions of terrifying food.
Fandom: Bleach
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Kubo Tite does. However, I do own the recipe for Bean Paste and Tomato Tofu cake. I'd prefer to own Bleach.

"And if I do this, you promise you'll come over to my house for dinner for a whole week?"

"You bet!" Inoue Orihime nodded enthusiastically. "I promise, a whole two weeks even! And I'll bring dessert every day, I've got this recipe for jalapeños stuffed with chocolate ice cream and stir fry beef, it's really good! And tomorrow I can bring my famous bean paste and tomato tofu cakes! I know your mother will love it!"

Tatsuki made a face. "You don't have to do that. I promise. Just come over at six o'clock, and have dinner with us. Okay..." She reached for her bag, pulling out her pencil case. "So who is this guy you want me to draw so badly?" If Orihime hadn't been quite so thick-headed when it came to her best friend, she might have detected the barest hint of jealousy.

"Oh!" The redhead frowned. "Oh. It's no one real, I guess. I saw him in a dream! He was so sad. It was a very sad dream, I didn't like it at all. Except for him. I was in this big white place, and everyone spoke Spanish. Isn't that weird? I don't even know very much Spanish! It was pretty confusing. Anyways, I was there and he was kind of my jailer. But he wasn't, really, because he was the one who was being held captive. So I guess he was a fellow prisoner too! And he was just ... he was sad. But he didn't know he was sad, and I think that was the saddest part of it."

She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts and she sighed, softly. "You remember the Wizard of Oz? He was kind of like the Tin-man, except he didn't have a heart all along and he didn't get one because there wasn't a Wizard and he wasn't wearing makeup and he didn't sing and dance with me. I bet if he did he would have had a lovely singing voice! And then I was rescued by a lizard man and Robin Hood! Oh, and Sado-kun! Isn't that strange?"

Tatsuki nodded. "Yeah. You have weird dreams... maybe it's because of all that weird food you eat."

Orihime just smiled at her friend. "Maybe! So, I thought, maybe if I could have you drawing him with a smile, then if I dreamed about him again he wouldn't be so sad." She looked down at the blank piece of paper that Tatsuki had laid out on the table in front of her. "How does this work? I don't know how to tell someone to draw someone else. I mean, it isn't like you can look into my head and see how he looks, right?"

"Well, of course I can't! I'm not a mind-reader, Inoue! You just tell me how he looks. Start with the shape of his face... you know, was his face round, oval, square or heart shaped? And you can come sit by me and watch me when I draw. If I get something wrong, you tell me and I'll try to fix it." Tatsuki rummaged through her case, then withdrew a white rubber eraser, pencil, and a sharpener. She sharpened her pencil, then drew a rough circle lightly. That would be the start of the face. "It'll be like you're giving me an assignment to draw something. You just give me the details while I draw."

"O~okay." Orihime scooted closer to the brunette, not noticing the way she tensed up for a second. "His face is... heart shaped, I guess." She watched the sketching unfold quietly, then when her friend's eyes met hers, she smiled. "And he's got big green eyes! Like a girl! Except his eyes... they're very flat. I don't mean flat like a pancake."

"Of course not, that's impossible."

"It was a dream, you know.... but his eyes were flat. They were like looking into a stuffed animal's eyes. " Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Dead. His eyes were dead."

"I'll colour it when we're done with it, Orihime." She drew the eyes, stopping to erase a mistake in her sketch that Orihime had pointed out. "Does he have hair?"

"Oh!" She nodded. "Yeah! He does. But don't draw it on the left side of his head, he has a helmet there and it covers his hair."

"Oh? A helmet? Does he play baseball?" Orihime shook her head. "What about his hair?"

"It's a different kind of helmet from a baseball helmet. It does kinda look similar though! It's broken in half. Umm. His hair is black. And it's messy. But it isn't long! It's kinda... longer in the back than it is in the front. And a piece falls over his eyes." She reached out to show Tatsuki where the strands of hair would fall. The drawing looked kind of silly without any hair on the left side, and what hair he had nothing more than an outline on the paper. She rested her elbow on the table. "That looks right so far."

Tatsuki smiled. "Okay. So his helmet...?" Inoue looked very serious for a moment. It was so much unlike her friend that Tatsuki had to scowl down at the picture that was doing this. He was had no nose, he was mouthless, colourless, and if he weren't just a figment of Inoue Orihime's overactive imagination, Tatsuki would have kicked his ass for making her face sad like that.

"I don't know how to describe it." She said, after a long minute. "It's ... I'll draw it. How about that?" Tatsuki handed her a peice of paper and her pencils. Her friend searched through the pencil case , finally pulling out a grey pencil crayon. She began to draw, still with that serious face that Tatsuki so despised. "Here!" She held out her drawing. Tatsuki took it and looked it over, her eyebrows furrowing.

"That's an uh, imaginative helmet. " She set it down to the side of her drawing, taking her pencil again so that she could begin to sketch the bizarre looking "helmet". Orihime leaned closer than ever as she drew it, nearly taking the athletic young woman's breath away.

"It's his, not my idea." She smiled down at the picture. "I think it's kind of ugly. I wish he didn't have it... It's almost like that mask impedes his brain from working right. He doesn't understand emotions, or a heart. Maybe it's like he's a robot, and that's a big stupid microchip that keeps him from feeling emotions! He doesn't feel emotions. Well. I think he might have at the end of my dream... He seemed like he was worried about me. He fought against the Lizardman. He might have thought the lizard guy was going to hurt me. But really, the Lizardman was trying to save me from him. Except..." She sighed. "Except I didn't need to be saved."

Tatsuki shook her head. "Okay, is that right? " When Orihime gave her a thumbs up for an answer, she leaned down to draw the helmeted man a mouth.

"Please, Tatsuki-san, please make him smile. Not a whole lot, he wouldn't smile a lot. Just a little bit. Just enough for it to be a smile. No, his lips are thinner. Very thin... it's almost like he doesn't have lips, actually. It's like his mouth is just a slit in his face. " Tatsuki took a breath and blew the eraser crumbs from her drawing. "Yeah!" Orihime said, smiling. "Just like that! That's perfect. Now for his nose... it's kinda little and sharp. No... it's littler than that. Oh!" She was smiling broadly at the picture now. "That's almost... yeah, I remember now! He has marks on his cheeks, like a tattoo. But it looks like ... tears. Like he's been crying. And it's green."

Once she'd finished the drawing, Tatsuki brushed away all the eraser crumbs. "You're right, Orihime. He's really sad looking." And the drawing was. Although it was just a two dimensional picture, it looked as if the man that had been born from her pencil would blink away tears from his large, feminine eyes, the tear-tracks down his cheeks growing even longer as he wept for some unknown reason. "Even the smile doesn't make him seem happy. Well." She took her pencil case and began to rummage through it, taking out a flesh coloured pencil.

"No!" Orihime grabbed her wrist before she could begin colouring the face in front of her. "No, I forgot to tell you. He's white. Just like he is now... black and white. The only color he has is in his eyes and those marks on his face. It's a really pretty green..." she poked through the pencils. "Like this one!"

Colouring the picture was much quicker than she'd thought it would be. All she had to do was colour in the hair she'd drawn, add a little more to poke out from beneath his helmet, and then colour his eyes and tear marks. There was no shading, no highlight to do--Orihime insisted that everything about the colouring be 'flat'. She smoothed the paper once more, then handed it to Inoue. Her eyes got a faraway look, and a smile that she had never seen tugged at the corners of her lips. It was almost the way that she looked whenever she saw Ichigo Kurosaki, but there was something different. It seemed like whatever emotion on her face was so much stronger when she looked at this strange pale dream man of hers. "There you go... don't forget. You're coming to dinner for two weeks." She put away her drawing supplies, slipping the rough sketch that Orihime had drawn into her bag with everything else. "Dinner starts at six!"

Orihime beamed up at Tatsuki, holding the drawing delicately. "Thank you so much Tatsuki!" She set it down on the table and wrapped her arms around the brunette, hugging her tightly. "It's perfect. Thank you so much!"

She didn't seem to notice the way that a blush instantly reddened her friend's cheeks. "It's fine," Tatsuki said, pushing herself away from Orihime. She stood up. "I'll see you at six. I need to get to my karate practice. Don't be late!"

"I won't be! I promise!" Orhime smiled at Tatsuki as she left, the tip of her index finger resting on the small slit of Ulquiorra's smiling mouth.

I amuse myself a little too much. PS: If you make this and get sick, don't blame me.

♥ One medium to large block of tofu (You can trim it down to about the right size and then make more food out of the tofu trimmings! Yay!)
♥ One small tomato, of a delicious sort (make sure there are no worms! Although if there are worms that's extra protein so I guess that's good for you!!)
♥ One small can full of sweetened shiroan bean paste! (Two cans if you're like me and like to eat it straight from the can just to taste it and then oh no it's all gone!)
♥ One handful of mint leaves!
♥ 500g sugar! (This is really important!)
♥ 2 small hot peppers (Don't get the pickled kind, that's just wrong!)
♥ One bar of chocolate, your favourite kind! (The white chocolate looks prettiest!)
♥ 5 ml super sticky honey!
♥ One brick (Make sure it's clean and pretty! Mine has googly eyes on it heehee)
♥ Food coloring! Use whatever color you like! (I like to use blue because it makes it look kind of purple)
♥ Sprinkles, or maybe candy flowers, candles, ooh, or maybe even a little toy if it's for someone who likes toys. (I"m going to make one for Hitsugaya-taichou and it'll have a pretty little dragon on it and maybe a sparkler! And then I'll put a sewing needle on Ishida-kun's no wait that's not a good idea at all.)

♥ Slice up the tomato and deseed the peppers (Oh be careful, wear gloves!) and put them into the blender. Put half the red bean paste in, then scrape it all into the food processor because I don't think my blender can handle all of that. Add the rest of the paste, the sugar and the mint. Use whatever setting your food processor has to turn it all into a sticky, yummy mess. Scrape it into a bowl and stir in the food coloring until it is really pretty.
♥ Take the Tofu and cut it in half. Carefully scoop out the middle so that it's kind of hollow inside. Be careful not to scoop too much, that could ruin the integrity of the cake!
♥ Oops. Put the bean paste mix back into the food processor and add the scooped out tofu. Mix it all up and put it back in the bowl.
♥ Carefully spoon in some of the mixture into the hollowed out middles of the halved tofu. Make sure it's nice and level!
♥ Take out a tiny bit (about 5 ml) of the bean paste and put it into another bowl, and then add the honey in to make it super sticky! Mix it really well, then use it to paste the two halves of the cake together. Clean up the stuff that squeezes out so that it won't look weird!
♥ Put some paper towels or a real towel or maybe some plastic wrap over the tofu cake and put it on a plate (put some paper towels or a real towel under the cake!) and then put the brick on it. Then put it in the fridge and go watch a movie on TV. This should really mash it together well and push out some of the water inside the tofu and replace it with yummy bean mix!
♥ After the movie is done, come back and take the tofu cake out of the fridge. Pat it dry, and 'frost' it with the remaining bean mix. (If you have some left over, it's pretty good on bread!)
♥ Melt half of the chocolate bar and pour some on the top, letting it drip down the sides and harden. Eat the rest of the chocolate bar while you decorate your cake the way you like best!

(Hmm, what should I use to decorate Kurosaki-kun's cake?)

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